Work Out

Okay, so I didn't work out yesterday; I was too tired.  I did eat salad for lunch though!  And a pretty healthy dinner.  Though I had a little bit of cake with JK, I didn't go overboard.  I could only manage a little bit.  Today I have to go and give out more flyers for Wax-A-Bear.  Then when I get home, I think I'll work out and play some Skyrim.  So, that's my goal.  Work out.  Since i've been such a slacker lately. 

Ugh - No Energy!

I didn't end up working out last night; Shannon and I ended up going and handing out flyers and posters for the Wax-A-Bear and Stuff a Turkey last night.  I didn't end up getting home until almost 9 o'clock.  I forgot to eat dinner, so I little pita sammich and then crashed the heck out.

This morning I woke up still tired.  I drank some coffee from McDonalds.  Probably not the healthiest, but it was non-fat milk, right?  It's fine; I'm going to work out tonight, regardless of how tired I am.  I might go down to the gym at home and use the elliptical.  I still haven't turned in my papers for the gym at work because I forgot to get a lock for a locker there.  Maybe if I'm super motivated today, I'll go to Lowe's and pick one up.  Otherwise, my only goal for today is to muster up enough energy to work out, even if it's only for a little bit.

On another note, I'm feeling fat today.  I saw some of the pictures of me dressed up for the costume contest this weekend and was displeased.  Despite looking pretty cute, I still looked extremely chubby.  Normally it doesn't bug me.  For some reason, I can look in the mirror and see the cute, but when I look at a photo i don't.  I look at photos and it's like I'm a different person, one who is much fatter than when I look in the mirror.  Is that weird?  I don't know.  Regardless, it's made me kind of self conscious lately, which is not normal for me.  It's a little depressing, but I have to get past that.  I can't let it get me down; I have to make it motivate me.  This is something I can CHANGE.  I just have to work at it.  I just have to keep telling myself that.

This Past Weekend

I didn't get to blog at all this past weekend.  Admittedly, I wasn't terribly focused on my weight-loss this weekend either.  It was JK's birthday on Saturday.  He had to work, so I ended up spending the day with Ete, Buddha and Buddha's girlfriend.  We went to brunch at the Good Egg, where I had some delightful Irish oatmeal, with raisins and walnuts and slivered almonds.  It was delicious!  Then we went thrift store shopping so Buddha could look for costumes for the show he is working on.  We hit up a few different thrift stores, then picked up some sub sammiches and went home.  I played with some make up to see how to do it for my costume and watched a movie before getting ready for the bar and the costume contest, which was awesome and lots of fun!

Yesterday I slept in until 2pm.  Friday night I took the kitten Ete had found on his patio home with me and had spent a lot of time with her in the bathroom.  I woke up early on Saturday to help her get socialized with the other cats, but Ete wanted me to bring her back, so I did before we went to brunch.  I was exhausted from not getting much sleep friday night, then going out late saturday evening.  Shortly after getting up, JK came home from work.  We played some video games, and then went to Kobe to celebrate his birthday.  All in all, it wasn't a HORRIBLE weekend, but I didn't work out very much.

Today my goal is to work out.  I went to the Doctor's office today to get my blood drawn and after that I always get Jack in the Box.  Regardless of that, the goal for the rest of the day is to eat healthy food.

Recap on Yesterday's Goals

So I didn't complete all my goals yesterday.  I ended up going to walmart to get some groceries for today's dinner and some hand weights for goal 2.  However, walmart always exhausts me.  I got home and was completely drained.  I ended up just laying on the couch for a while and snuggling with JK.

Why does it has this effect on me?  Well, as with any large grocery store, I usually want to get in there, get my stuff and get out.  My anti-anxiety medication makes it so I don't experience the sense of panic and fear that I used to associate with a grocery store filled with lots of people, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't really like the chore at all.  It didn't help that the weights and gym equipment were on the complete other end of the store from everything else I needed.  I just hate all the bright lights and the people who meander and get in your way while you're trying to get where you're going to find the stuff that you need.  The other issue is that there are ALWAYS people in my way who refuse to move, even when I say "excuse me".  They don't hear me or don't care, or whatever, but it's super irritating.

I got home and didn't really feel like working out or going to coffee, so I didn't.  My gym papers are ready for me to turn in, I just need a lock for a locker and can start using it come Tuesday morning, which is exciting.  Until then, I have a pair of 3 pound, neon green, weights to keep me occupied and wear me out.

Goals for today:

1.  Work out at lunch using the new weights.
2.  Healthy dinner, not going to eat out.  (pot roast is already in the crock pot)
3.  No unhealthy snacks during gaming!

No Excuses!

Yesterday, after thinking about my excuses post, I decided that I was just going to go and join the gym at work.  It's close to where I live and literally right across the parking lot from my building.  It's inexpensive, and they automatically deduct the payments from payroll.  I get to use the equipment I want and take classes there if I like.  They even have a yoga class in the afternoons that I can go to, if I want.  AND I won't have to worry about bothering the downstairs neighbors early in the mornings. I figure that if I can't manage to get up at 5:30 am to work out before work, I can just adjust my lunch hour and go at 10 or so, or after work.

Also, yesterday, I did a work out DVD that I found a while back on Amazon.  It's one of the few workout DVDs that has music that I really like!  Shakra's Industrial Strength Dance Workout.  It has a lot of lovely goth/industrial music by bands like :wumpscut and Collide.  Aside from the music, I really love the pacing of the workouts.  The instructor switches pretty well between arms and legs at times when you're just starting to get tired and it seems like that really keeps me going.  Just as my arms are starting to hurt, she switches to legs, or chests.  My arms get a break and I can keep going longer.  The other nice part is that most of their moves are pretty easy on my ankle, and I don't have to modify things too much.  Since I started working out, I have noticed that my ankle is feeling much better than it has been, which I'm glad about.

So, I weighed myself this morning and weighed in at 264.5 lbs.  I hate putting that out here on a public forum, but I feel like I have to admit this, not just to myself.  It's not some dirty secret or anything.  It shouldn't be something that I feel shame for.  It's just how much I weigh.  I'm working out.  I'm eating healthy.  I'm modifying my life to be healthier.  Why should my weight matter?  It shouldn't, but sometimes it does.  Also, I'm worried my scale is broken; I always weigh more when I go to the Dr.'s office.  Maybe it's time to get a new one...

Goals for today:

1.  Turn in my papers for the gym - No slacking!
2.  Get some hand weights for some of the workouts that i have that suggest it.
3.  Work out when I get home from work, no naps!
4.  Eat something healthy at this week's coffee social - resist the cookies and sweets.

Lots of goals today.

Excuses?

Yesterday I didn't work out.  I succumbed to the siren call of the nap after work and crashed out until 6 pm never to be heard from again... Okay... I was heard from again when I made dinner and snuggled up with JK to play some Skyrim.  I did not, however, workout, like I was supposed to.  Shame! 

That being said... this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  One of my goals yesterday was to look into the gym at work.  As I read over the documents it came to my attention that it requires a six month commitment.  On one hand, the payments are taken directly out of my paycheck... on the other hand, they are taken out of my paycheck for 6 months, regardless of if I go or not or if I want to cancel or not... That kinda sucks.  What if I never end up using it?  What if they move us to a different building and it's no longer convenient to use it?  (They haven't moved us in a while, but this is a viable concern because we rarely get notice if we're being moved to a new building.)

I talked to one of the guys that works with me because I know he uses the gym here a lot.  He says it's awesome, but that going at lunch is the busiest time to go.  That being said, he mentioned that early in the mornings and afternoons it's pretty empty and a decent time to go.  So, I would have to commit to either going in early OR staying after late to go to the gym... Do I really want to do that?  

While thinking about these things I wonder... "How much of this is really just me talking myself out of going to the gym?"  Are these just excuses I'm making NOT to go?  I notice I do the same thing at home, too.  Normally at home I work out to DVDs or videos I've gotten off of Amazon Instant Video.  These are great, but I live on the second floor of an apartment building.  Now, our floors aren't the quietest floors ever.  They creak and you can hear the people upstairs.  I know this, 'cause I hear my upstairs neighbors sometimes.  So if I'm jumping around and working out (that's a lot of weight being thrown around!), I worry that I'm disturbing the downstairs neighbors.  And no one wants to be woken up at 5 am to some fat girl getting her dance on jumping around her apartment... 

So are these just excuses not to work out?  Or am I legitimately taking things into consideration?  Admittedly, I don't play my cello really early in the mornings and very late at night for fear of disturbing the neighbors... but is working out the same?  Should I even care?  This issue may be moot point in the future as I have plans to move.  So should I commit to 6 months at the gym now and see how it goes?  I'm not sure... These are things I'm thinking of.  

Goals for today: 

1.  Work the f- out.  No sleeping. No napping.  Workout IMMEDIATELY when I get home!  

2.  That's the only goal for today.  

Good Morning

I ended up snuggling too late this morning with JK and got a bit of a late start.  I managed to take my pills, but forgot my vitamins this morning, so I'll have to remember to take those when I get home tonight.  Today I brought some salad and cheese curds for lunch and had some nutrisystem oatmeal for breakfast.

Last night Ete and I went to have Teppanyaki.  I ate too much there... but it was SO good.  I did focus mainly on my fried rice, though.  I ordered the beef yakisoba, which was delicious.  There was no way I could finish it, though; there were WAY too many noodles for me.

Today I'm going to look into the gym at work.  If I can keep up doing my work outs at lunch, then that would be super awesome.  So that's one of my goals today.

1.  Ballet dance workout when I get home.
2.  Look into the work fitness center so I can work out at lunch on the days I'm in the office.

Lunchtime workout

I only did 15 minutes of the ballet workout today, but I did it, damnit!!

Today's Goals

It's getting closer and closer to Halloween.  That time of the year where there is candy and chocolate everywhere!  This year, it seems like Halloween has been creeping up on me slowly.  I didn't even realize how soon it was until today when Ete and I were talking about plans for next weekend.  Anvil is having a costume contest, but neither of us are in the mood or have the energy to put together an elaborate costume.  A few weeks ago I had gotten some skeleton knee high socks and arm warmers from Sock Dreams (a website that has some really awesome socks and arm warmers) for the holiday.  We decided to go as skellies since we both have skeleton themed clothing and it was easy enough.  

Despite all the candy and chocolate being displayed in the stores, I'm more interested in the make up lately.  I love all the interesting colors that are released during the fall/halloween time frames.  It's a good time to get specialty colors and items that you normally don't find during the rest of the year.  As well as LOTS of good deals on false eyelashes.  Though I'm not terribly familiar with false eyelashes, I'm thinking I might experiment  with them this year.  

I'm hoping my non-interest in the chocolate holds up.  I know the closer I get to my period the worse my cravings for sweets are going to be.  I'm going to have to plan for that by maybe getting some fat free gelato or chocolate frozen yogurt maybe.  Something to curb those cravings for chocolate.  

Now, today's goals are going to be: 

1.  Do my ballet work out at lunch (my thighs are starting to feel better, so i think i'm up for squats again until my legs are jello).  

2.  Only eat 1 tamale for lunch, resist eating two of them. (OMG tamales are my delicious delicious nemesis...)  

Get it, girl! 

Lazy Sunday

I didn't get a chance to blog today until later.  Today I was kinda shady on my goals; I had a hard time deciding what to make them.  I decided that my only goal today was to get up the motivation to work out.  I didn't get a chance to do yoga or workout yesterday after rescuing JK.  I went to drop off his tire, and we couldn't get the bolts off to change it.  We ended up having to take it to a mechanic to get that fixed and it took much longer than originally anticipated.  By the time we got home, it was time to prepare dinner (which had been cooking in the crock pot) and we were so tired. 

This morning I did go to the farmer's market.  I hadn't been going the past few months while using Nutrisystem, and totally remembered why I missed going.  There are almost always the same major vendors and it was just so familiar and delightful.  Now that the days aren't so hot, it was actually nice and breezy.  I picked up fresh greens, cucumbers, green apples, and plums.  I also couldn't resist some coconut macaroons, green chile and pork hand pies, and some fresh red chile tamales.  I normally don't eat wheat bread, but I know it's healthier for you than white bread.  I picked up some fresh made wheat bread.  I tried it this morning when I got home, and it was so delicious.  Much better than regular sandwich bread you get at the store.

Anyway, I love going to the farmer's market.  Aside from the fresh veggies, there's such a great community of people that will work with you to get what you are looking for.  It's such a delightful alternative to grocery shopping on a Sunday morning.  There are so many things you can get there, all fresh and supporting local businesses.  Not just veggies, either.  There are booths with people selling frozen meats from some of the local meat-shops and butcheries.  One of the guys sells cheeses from one of the local dairies.  There's a woman who sells fresh roasted coffees and another one who sells her own blends of tea tree face wash and jojoba moisturizer.  There's a booth with Mediterranean foods and the best stuffed grape leaves I've ever had and a local candy maker that has the best scribbles (caramel and nuts dribbled with chocolate).  Hand made pasta, tea blends, whatever you can think of. 

So, today's goal was met.  I did manage to do some yoga today before dinner.  Now I'm going to decide if I want my coconut macaroons after I play some skyrim.  :D
 

Goals

I got up really early today to take JK to work.  His truck has a tire that is going to blow, but he left his spare at home (when he explained it to me, the reason made sense.) and didn't want to try to drive all the way home to get it on a tire that may or may not explode on the freeway.  This seemed reasonable to me, so I agreed to take him to work, then pick him up and take him to go get his tire and get it changed.  It was really hard to get out of bed at 6 am on a Saturday, I'm just going to say that. 

On top of that, my thighs are really sore from doing squats yesterday when I worked out for lunch (go me!).  That being said, going up and down my stairs was a PAIN.  Anyway, back to this morning.  I was driving home from dropping JK off and thought "I should just make daily goals for myself."  I had previously been making monthly or weekly goals.  Like "I'm going to work out 3 times this week" or "I will loose 2 pounds this month" or something like that.  The problem with this thinking is that it lends some wiggle room for procrastination and doesn't allow for daily planning.  So I've decided to try out making daily goals for myself... things I can fit into my daily schedule that will help motivate me.  Goals like "I'm going to work out at lunch today" or "I'm going to find a way to fit a 15 minute walk" or "Today will be a no sugar day." 

In the car, pulling into my driveway I decided today's goal would be to go to brunch with Ete (a regular weekend thing) and choose a healthy breakfast item at the restaurant.  Since I'm so sore today, my workout goal is to stretch with some yoga and loosen up these sore muscles.

I've already accomplished goal one: We went to the Good Egg which has a lot of wonderfully healthy egg options.  Though I did have bacon at breakfast; since the rest of my breakfast was scrambled egg whites with veggies, a fruit cup and a light bagel like thingie (it's called a bialy) I didn't feel so bad about indulging.  I also figured that it was okay since I would probably skip lunch or eat a salad for lunch anyway since it was so late in the morning.

Go me, Goal 1 accomplished.

I also went the extra mile and drove out to JK's house after brunch and picked up his tire for him so he can just change it when I go pick him up from work.  On the way home I was trying to decide what to do about dinner.  I decided some crockpot chicken would be nice.  I stopped by Fresh and Easy and picked up some chicken, small golden potatoes, onions and garlic (pre chopped, win!).  I also got some stuff to make a cauliflower salad 'cause that sounded really good at the time (fresh zucchini,cauliflower, olives and cucumbers tossed in a basalmic vinigrette).  Everything was easy to prepare.  Threw the chicken on top of the potatoes in the crock pot with some fresh thyme and rosemary and a little water to keep it all moist, and topped it all off with some lemon slices to give it a lemony zest.  Threw the cauliflower salad together and tossed it in the fridge.  Done.

Go me, Extra Credit: Prepared healthy dinner! 

And now for admitting the faults.  Yesterday, I said I'd get something healthy at Switch, which I did.  I got the provincial chicken with risotto, which was delicious.  I ate more than I probably should have, though, since it comes with two whole chicken breasts and a TON of risotto (that is so good I can't stop eating it!!!).  I also got a Creme Brulee, which is my favorite dessert there, but I shared it with everyone so I didn't eat it ALL by myself.  So, there is that.  All in all, not the BEST choices, but also not terrible either. 

Recap on Yesterday

Yesterday was good; I didn't eat as healthy as I could have, but I did try the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred work out and made it through the first one!  I was impressed with myself.  Though I did have to modify the jumping jacks because they hurt my knees; I think I land wrong when I do them normally.  So, I did work out, and i'm proud of myself for doing so.

So, it's 7:37 AM on Friday morning.  Tonight I'm going out with friends to see A Vampire Tale, by the Scorpius Dance Theater.  The plan is to go out to Switch for lunch.  One of the things I like about Switch is they have a lot of pretty healthy options for their meals.  Here are my goals for today:

1.  Work out today at lunch (I was supposed to get up early, but I had trouble falling asleep).
2.  Make healthy choices when out with my friends.

Rock on!

Eh; so that didn't work...

I never post here!  I just get lazy... Anyway; re-re-purposing this blog AGAIN.  I need somewhere where I can keep motivating myself on my weight loss goals.  I went to the Doctor's office on Tuesday for a sinus infection.  When they weighed me, I was horrified.  All the weight I had lost over the past few years, back.  I have to admit, that I have been SO frustrated the past few days about it. 

I realize I have only myself to blame.  If only I had better willpower?  I don't know.  Regardless, I have to refocus myself.  I can't keep blaming myself and letting frustrations get me down and prevent me from my goals. Yesterday, while I was home sick, I read a website on how to re-motivate yourself on your weightloss goals.  One of the suggestions was keeping track of the successes and setbacks you've done.  So, I'm going to try and do that here. 

Today, I'm still dealing with the antibiotics, and steroids, and sinuses, and sore throat.  So I'm not going to work out.  I've re-set my alarm for 5 am to see if I can manage to get up early enough to go to the gym or at least do some yoga before work.  I know I won't get the chance to work out tomorrow after work because we are going to see a Vampire Tale.  I've found some gummy vitamins for women, and have to admit that since I've been taking them I have noticed a lot more energy rather than the usual fatigue I feel for the entire first half of the morning. 

Summary:  My goal this week is to work out more than I have before.  At least 15 minutes a day, regardless of how tired I am.  I will work at trying to find the time to do this every day.